Third Day

I am in a quandry about whether to call today the third day or scrap the rest and start over.

Scrapping: I can erase the shame of the failure. I can gain a fresh and new start, knowing that I can do it.

The third: I can count the success of Day One and Day Two and feel the pride of including it in my season here, keeping the slump that followed in its place.

I'll go for risking a few down days between the great days. The habit of scrapping it all (including the triumphs) gives me the sense of total failure and never reaching something. Embracing all my successes and failures weaves my tapestry tightly and bravely includes the threads of a few failures--yet I am still moving forward In an Amish quilt there is always a flaw included so that we can remain humble and needful of His grace. Who am I to question that wisdom? It feels right. Not in the "drag around my garbage" way, but in the "I am the sum total of my weaknesses and strengths" way. The Lord does not make my strengths into strengths, but my weaknesses.

So that means:
1) Embrace all my efforts and failures as cheering points and turning points;
2) Remember to weave more good threads than bad;
3) Let the Lord help me change me and strengthen my weaknesses.

So today is the third day. I have spent the last 15 minutes in philosophy instead of eating. Good start!

Gosh

So day three and four are not pleasant days to blog on the subject of being on a healthy lifestyle. But being it was Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I will release myself from the accusations I am want to administer. So in celebration of the holidays and the forgiving nature of its origins, I shall share the truimphs and own them.

Dad and I walked 3.7 miles this morning. I threw away half of my pumpkin pie. I ate a beautiful salad today. I did not eat anything yesterday while I was out shopping and then ate sensibly when I came home. I made popcorn last night during the movie--94% fat free. I instantly forgave myself after I had polished off all the junk food in my stocking.

The sugar intake was enough to remind me of the reason I am severely limiting it. So I shall consider the failures of yesterday and today feedback instead. I am looking forward to re- entering the crusade and conquering the various opponents that raise the sword against me. Plan for the strategy, prepare the food and the psychie, clear the foods away that are lying in wait as I write.

Maybe I could call tomorrow day three and forget about the last two days. Or maybe that would be terrible, to have to endure day three and four twice!!

Day Two

It is amazing how quickly I feel better when I eat right. I think that the key to my success today is that I am having to use every spare minute to shop for Christmas gifts! Also, I began by drinking 24 oz of water before I ate breakfast. Day two is usually a good day (after the many times I have had a day two, I am quiet an expert). I am not sure why. This one was no different. It was a good day.

Now if I had added walking, tracking and no fudge, I could have described it as an awesome day. But awesome is not what I am after. Just good. Days that I feel in control and stop eating before my helping is gone because I am full. I had half a piece of fudge from a caroling plate and it was so good. But I ran from the room when I was done and played the piano. That plate greeted me again two more times but I had had my peace (piece) and I did not eat any more.

I overate twice, with a mega sized salad which I didn't finish because I was full. And at dinner I had a second bowl of Bethany's egg noodle spagghetti. I have felt wonderful all day, no ill affects from overdosing on sugar. No desire to look back with anything but gratitude that my biggest challenge is having to cut back on food. Tell the people in Mozambique that.

Tomorrow is the day I need the most support. The third day and the fourth seem to be like sneaker waves that engulf me by 3pm. Gotta get a plan. Before dawn tomorrow. Before bed tonight.

I think this picture represents us all in this Christmas/New Year season. We are all thinking about the ensuing New Year's resolution to eat better yet we are overwhelmed thinking of trying to eat well through the Christmas holiday at the end of this week...

We can do it ladies, some of us might just stand around and look the other way (Miriam), others will feel like they are being beaten in the act of trying (Naomi) and some will be gloriously triumphant! (Rachel).

It's all about the attitude ladies.

No No No No No

Today is a sad day. Jared and Lynn left, leaving behind memories of an incredible year. But I will go on about that another day. I have a few minutes to tell about today's triumph(s). After a year of neglect, I am finally saying no. Today is my first day. I have said no so many times that I cannot count them, yet each one is a remarkable and difficult event.

You see up until now (this year), I have allowed sugar to be my drug. Like meth or heroin, I must have it, the consequences are pushed from my mind as I scrounge for it. I place it in my mouth like an addict into the vein. The effects come after many milligrams of the substance. I continue to push it in until I fall over in delight. Then, somewhere in the next hour, the ill feelings begin--jitters, lack of ability to focus, disgust for what I have done, need for a salty snack, lack of energy--the signs of overdose. No narcan is available and I must suffer withdrawl alone, embarrassed and self-loathing. Upon regaining my senses a half a day later, I am tickled with thoughts of chocolate, lemon or other lovely things. The scrounging begins yet again, and I am left berelft of sane thought except, of course, of SUGAR.

Today, without a straight jacket, without a therapist, without intervention of any kind aside from within, I faced withdrawl with determination. My hand caught me on the way down many times as I hallucinated. I saw myself with a cookie in my mouth, a piece of piano candy, a bowl of brownie batter, swirling together in colorful screaming and reaching. But "no", with a raised hand, cut through the episode and vaporized the visions. Still locked into the physical need for the rush of a sugar high, I press ahead to find a diversion.

This is the horror of my first day in recovery. The single "yes" consisted of two tablespoons of leftover FHE mint ice cream. I feel like bedtime is months away. But I think I can make it now. As I sit here typing, an empty can of olives sits laughing at me. The lid is connected and is jiggling enough to make it giggle. I swear. I will write you as my symptoms abate and I can join society without attacking every buffet that happens by.

Isaac made a salad today. It is a start. Another start.

PERFECT Hard-boiled Eggs...FINALLY!!!

I don't know about y'all, but I'm hit and miss when it comes to hard-boiled eggs. There's that pesky shell in the way that completely blocks your view of the inside so it's a guessing game as to if and how well they are done. I wish I could say I figured this genius idea out on my own, but alas, I found it on the internet! Couldn't NOT pass it on though, since I just got done eating the most perfectly boiled egg I've ever had. Try it!!

1. Put eggs in a single layer in a saucepan or pot, put JUST enough water to cover them.

2. Put a few shakes of salt (helps with the peeling) and a 1/2 T of vinegar (this helps with the cracking). I used only salt and they did not crack, and peeled like a dream!

3. On a gas burner: Put the pan on the burner and crank it up to high. As soon as the water begins to boil (not a huge rolling boil, just the little bubbles coming up quickly and regularly), remove from heat for a few seconds, then place the pan back on low heat for one minute. After the minute, remove eggs from heat, cover, and let sit in hot water for 12 minutes. On an electric cook-top: Crank the burner to high and bring to a boil, same as above. As SOON as you get a good boil going, turn the burner off and let the eggs sit for one minute (the residual heat from the cook-top will keep them simmering). After the minute is up, cover, remove, let sit in hot water for 12 minutes.

4. Have a bowl of ice-water ready and use a slotted spoon to remove from hot water into ice water. You can also use super cold tap water, run it over the eggs for a few minutes to cool them.

5. Using this method it is nearly impossible to over-cook the eggs (you know, when you get that gross greenish gray film around the yolk), even if you accidentally leave them in the hot water for 15 or 20 minutes.

Try it, it's awesome!!!

Love you all,
Rachel

Thanks to Mom

It hasn't been since I moved away from home that I realized how much I learned from mom in the kitchen. Last night was an awesome example.

We don't have tons of food lying around since we have been here for a grand total of 4 days. I pulled some cooked and seasoned chicken chunks that my friend had made us when we got home. I cut up that which made about 2 cups. I found a can of green beans, a can of cream of chicken soup and some rice in our cupboard.

I made 3/4c of uncooked rice, hoping that would be the right amount. It was a little much for two people. I put the chicken in a pan, warmed that up, then put in the green beans. The cream of chicken soup was thick so I mixed a few spoonfuls of that with some milk. Creamy! As the chicken, beans and creaminess was finishing heating up, Colin came home... with Ryan. Hmm. So i just put a few more spoonfuls of green beans in there. The rice problem was fixed too. It was the perfect amount and there wasnt any leftovers!!!

A grand success for me. Awesome. Thanks Mom. and Dad.

Into the Light

I am going to the fourth wedding of the year (the fifth sealing because Tammy's parents were sealed in the temple in April). Another time to shed the dayliness and step into the warm day of Medleyness. Each time we anticipate a gathering, there is the usual "gosh, who is going to make it?" In all the hubbub we discover always that more came than we thought. Once in a while ALL of us are there. It never matters who is there and who isn't because where two or more are gathered, there is noise, food, laughter (lots and lots of that), longboards, shopping, dancing, singing, crying (usually the baby), trading clothes, complimenting ties, adjusting waistlines, hugging (lots and lots of that), sparkling cider, organizing who will ride with who, making sure we don't forget someone, hair things (lots and lots and lots of that).

A wedding is so special. There is the advice from the married siblings, and the rapt attention from the unmarried. The bride is primpt and fussed over by many females (always plenty no matter who made it or not). The bride does not even have to be an original Medley to receive the ridiculous amount of attention, such a given. In this family there is room for all.

My heart skips beats every time I stop and think about seeing them all again. My heart is soft and ready to sponge up the sounds, smells, sights, tastes and the feelings saturating our circle. How much joy can one heart take? I'm over my quota and still I walk into the lovely ten days to come. All the fancy writing, the elite journalism, the artistic pen cannot come close to what it is really like to be the mother of these incredible children.

That's all I can say because I have to wipe all these tears from the keyboard...

Apple Snicker Salad Dessert

My old roommate told me how to make this and it was delicious! I didnt take this picture but this is what it looks like.

You will need:

1 red apple

1 green apple

about 6 snickers

cool whip

flavored yogurt(i used strawberry, just dont use plain)

Cut up the apples into little bit size pieces. Put 'em in a big bowl.

Cut up the snickers into bit sized pieces. Put 'em in that same bowl.

Put some cool whip and yogurt in there(more cool whip than yogurt) and stir it all up.

Ta-da!!! Super easy and really good. It easily serves 5 or 6 people good size servings.

Enjoy girls!!

Here's a little email coorespondence we had and I am putting here just to have it in print. It regards our newsletter we have started called The Medley Circle:

Me: Hey groupies,
Do you think we should keep our newsletter monthly or do you think quarterly would be better? The majority (not counting the three kids at home) decides and Mom isn't voting. Well, since I am the vice president of the family, I will break the tie if there is one. So let me know right away.
Monthly _______ Quarterly _______
Love, Mom

Rachel: MONTHLY MONTHLY MONTHLY!!!!

Sarah: quarterly. I think I will keep up on it better.
3½ hours later: I answered quartlerly.. that was before I actually read the newsletter. I'm changing my preference to monthly. This thing is SWEET. I loved reading everyone's entries!!!

Hannah: MONTHLY!!

Naomi: i would say monthly. I know that lots happens in my life and i love to share it. i also talk to family members every few days so i love frequent contact.... my vote is monthly.

Dad: Monthly ____x___ Quarterly _______

Majority rules and after Gideon's resounding MONTHLY over the phone, I think that it is a clear consensus, even before the last two votes come in. My vote would have broken a tie with a MONTHLY. So I'll "see" you next month. Love, The Editor--Mom

Health and Happiness

Health and Happiness.
That is what my whole life is about. I have spent years being an emotional wreck or moving mountains or keeping balance. I am 52 (still) and I am so glad for the little miracles that make up health and happiness that have brought me to the place I am now.

Then, health and happiness meant:
-going to the gym at 6:00am
-fitting into my pants without elastic
-dinner ready on time
-all the children out of diapers
-making enough money
-all the kids behaving in church
-no fighting
-raising the kids to be responsible
-trying not to get mad

Now it means:
-being able to tie my shoes without a written plan
-fitting into my pants with elastic
-dinner
-knowing I am not in diapers yet
-still struggling with the money
-all the kids (and their kids) in church
-getting everyone together
-not being able to stop smiling
-trying to live up to the excellence of my amazing kids

When I write it out, it does not say what I really feel and on a blog, the wet spots from the teardrops are not visible. Health and Happiness--what a great name for this blog. It reminds me of all that we have together.

Be healthy, be happy, and know that you are both!!

Love, Mom

You must read this.

You guys. This is serious.

I went to a bread making class in our ward from a lady who is a baker extraordinaire. The "bread recipe" she shared with us isn't anything super special. Although it's the perfect combination of moistness and saltiness and sweetness. BUT what she did share that completely changed my life (or at least my baking life) was that you can do ANYTHING with bread.

Don't look up the cinnamon roll recipe separate. Just use your same bread recipe, roll out the dough, spread melted butter, cinnamon and sugar (you don't even have to combine them beforehand), roll it up, rise, bake, etc.

Want to make asiago cheese rosemary and thyme bread? Sure, add them in.

Want to add eggs? Sure, add one or two, it won't change it much and you don't even need to rearrange the other ingredients. It's revolutionary. Last night I decided to try something new. I rolled out one of my loaves of dough. Spread butter, cinnamon and sugar in between. I rolled it up, shaped it into my bread pan and let it rise. Before the oven, I mixed together a concoction of the same thing- melted butter, cinnamon and sugar (but thicker than before) and brushed it all over the top of the loaf.

You guys.

I never thought such deliciousness was possible. I almost died it tasted so good. The top was all crunchy and the inside moist and doughy and sugary. mmmm... And the inside looked like a swirl. Like legitimate cinnamon swirl bread. I didn't think I was capable of such a thing.

Alright.

Here it is:

2 cups warm water
1/4 cup sugar
5 tsp yeast
PROOF for about 10-20 min. No set time. Just until it starts to grow.

add 1/2 cup vegetable oil (could use extra V. olive oil, lard, etc. ANY kind of fat)
1 1/2 tsp salt
5-6 cups flour (white or wheat, doesn't matter. Wheat takes a little longer to cook and will be heavier healthier bread).

Knead 15-20 min by hand or 10 min in a mixer.

Let rise to approximately triple its size. This varies, doesn't have to be exact.. In Florida (in a bowl on top of a 350 degree oven) it takes about two hours.

Punch down, Knead about five times (not five minutes).

Form into whatever you're making. Bread pans, braided artisan bread on top of a cookie sheet, little dinner rolls in muffin tins, cinnamon rolls in a 9x9 pan.

Let rise to the size you want.

Regular white bread loaves bake at 350 for 20 minutes. Wheat, closer to 25. Littler loaves on a cookie sheet, more like 15-18 min.

Olive Bread: add olive oil and 1/2 cup chopped olives

Herb seasoned bread: can add oregano, thyme, garlic, rosemary. Just about any herb.

Bacon bread: fry some bacon, add some of the grease plus the chopped bacon.

If you want your bread shiny on top (which I do every single loaf), you beat one egg and brush it on top of the bread right before it's put in the oven.

Seriously.

Makes us smile every day, makes us laugh even harder.
There is nothing that compares to the love a parent feels for their child.
I am still hoping she won't grow up and the stories I tell her about when she was a baby, while she smiles and listens intently, will influence her to hold on to the beauty of childhood for as long as she can.

moms garden

dads strawberries

I gots a RECIPE!!

Hey ladies! Since this is a "health and happiness" blog and I'm terrible about being consciously healthy, I'm sharing something today about happiness!!! I went to the Stake Relief Society fireside tonight where our ward did the musical number that I arranged and was super awesome. but that's not the point of this post. One of the sisters that spoke gave a recipe and I want to share it because it's awesome!

How to have a Happy Life
(verses from 2 Nephi 5)
1. Be with family 5:6
2. Keep the commandments 5:10
3. Plant a garden and raise animals 5:11
4. Study scriptures 5:12
5. Have children 5:13
6. Be prepared 5:14
7. Attend the temple 5:16
8. Be industrious and learn to work 5:17
9. Accept church callings and serve others 5:26
10. Keep a journal 5:29-30
11. Look forward to Christ's coming 5:32
Mix it together and get- 5:27

Additional/Optional Spices
-Chocolate- be passionate about life, be excited, learn, be the one
-Be flexible- have a plan B, C, D, E... Learn to laugh at yourself
-Develop a grateful heart- see the Lord tender mercies in your life, write them down
-Look for good in other people and cultivate a good attitude

Hope you like it girls!

Runners, Yeah We're Different

These guys are serious and so are we...

Aaron and I started running too. Sorry about the naked guy but that was the best one. Anyone can join us. The guy in the bank is! Love you all!

So I am just checking in with my fabulous girls! I have started to get on track and work out more because I was letting myself go! I have made some long distance running goals and I am way excited to carry them out! I am not really sure what made me want to run a half marathon but I do. Maybe it's the realization that we only live once and I want to accomplish a big goal like that in my lifetime. I think of you all often and pray for you always. Much love!

just a little spontania!!

ok peoples....this is sad! well......i shouldnt really be talking because i have blogged....once?

but anyway, i just wanted to say, i thought of the coolest qoute ever!!! and i thought it up all by myself!

ok here it is......

the only excuse to stop living is to die

isnt that so awesome??? well, just wanted to say that!!

<3 <3

Musings on a Beautiful Life

A few things I love:
Progresso Lentil Soup
Salad with Mazzotti's Italian (of course) dressing
Knitting washcloths
Talking with my kids
Talking about my grandkids
Dusting with a Swiffer
Pita bread hot with just butter
I look forward each night to brushing with my electric toothbrush
Singing, really singing
Feeling not-full
A stormy ocean
Teaching Mariah piano
Using my green bags when I go grocery shopping
Singing the Lollipop to Ruby all day
Looking for alligators in Florida
Wearing and buying earings
Going to sleep when I am tired
Giving my sister her shot everyday
Being so ridiculously busy that finding a moment to pray is my only truly essential task
Among other things...

10 minutes

The family is hiking today. They are going where they don't want to take me--frightened of certain elevation configurations. So I go around assessing what I can do in the quiet of solitude. The Email. Oh Jared has a new post. I have neglected to examine his new photo blog. I have been on it to glance, but today I sat and watched the most beautiful thing ever. Each photo spoke to me and I was caught a number of times blinking. Jared carries his talent as all of you do, confidently, joyfully, gently. Thank you, son, for the gift of your heart--forever to be shared with all who choose to leaf through your folders. It was a lovely 10 minutes.

A Renewal of Commitment to Health!

Well, I have been enjoying everyone's posts a lot, so happy to see that Rachel is drinking soda... I don't even do that!
I have a few exciting things to share!
For my birthday, my present to myself was an elliptical! Jared, Miriam and Aaron came up from Utah Valley to surprise me that night and they helped me put it together while Sean went to the ER due to him smashing the heck out of his finger. I love this machine! I have worked out every day since and it totally motivates me to eat healthier.
I found a few great discoveries at Costco last visit (as seen above.) The soup is ZERO points!! And, it's good! These twists are super good too and only ONE point each. Super yummy treat.

I also found a website that is a point calculator that is pretty cool:

http://www.webmilhouse.com/pointcalc.php

Love you all, keep up the posts!

Burn Baby Burn!!! Disco Inferno!!!!

ok so i have heart burn and i dont know what to do about it. you know how sometimes theres something you can eat or do to help? well is there any thing that will help for that? i was going to email rachel and then i remembered that my happy place was waiting!!!

Parents Came to Florida.

This is what we've been up to! Mom and I are eating carrots and jawing away. She organized my kids' books!!! We have discussed healthy eating habits (whilst eating pudding w/chocolate chips). It's been lovely. They have been here one day and I never want them to go back home. We have the best family and parents. We miss everyone!

The end.

HELP

ok i am making dinner for my apartment on tuesday and i have no idea what to do. i am on a very low almost non existant budget. any ideas?? i also am trying to think of things that i can have here just for me to eat that are healthy and not too involved. i have fruit and bread and that but i can go more tahn a few days on that. this is my fist time at this... help me out ladies!!

Sitting

I sat on the chair the day he left and scrolled through the pictures he took over the years. Each one has a voice, and the greatness of his heart saturates each one, the keen eye catching what is within. Those understanding eyes, that voice so full of calm, how I miss them already. Get me that kleenex box!

I sat after I hung up the phone. He sounds so good, so wise and capable. Beyond my thinking. I try to keep the dam from breaking. He will leave the place he has come to love. He will leave a part of himself there. I still hear him in my heart. The telephone click at the end was loud. I sat for awhile and then let the tears go.

I sat down for awhile when she left. Kevin took her with him. Lucky guy. Her life is utter adventure, in the sky type. I love her voice, her laughter, her pursing of lips when I am not hard enough on the 12-year-old, her unconditional love and forgiveness towards me, the delicious hugs. I sat down and wondered and tears stung.


I sat down the night she left, in her room still dotted with clutter and untossed trash sacks. The bed was noisy, no clock hummed and no laptop glowed. She takes with her the ability to find photos for me, pick up the kids, play for my recitals and cry on my shoulder. I sat, then I laid down and smelled her sweetness awhile. And mixed it with a little sobbing.

I sat down when she left. I am often a little lost when one of my little girls gets married. Will she call me? Will she think of home sometimes? Will she be loved by her sweetheart as much as I am by mine? Will she have enough problems to make a fantastic marriage? Will she wish I was making her practice? Will she want to know how I did it? Did what? It all just happened, and now she leaves and I am saying good-bye. And I am just sitting, and crying again.

I sat down in the passenger seat, the drool still enshrined on my cheek. Still warm are the hugs from the mothers in my life, the beautiful, amazing, lovely mothers of my 5, 3, 2 & 1 year old girls. They towered over me with their athletic ways with Lilly. Passing her between them like they were not two, but one. I looking on in awe. I sat all the way home, wishing for one more laugh, one more hug, one more moment in the temple. My tears find their own way home.

So I sat a lot this past two weeks. They flew and I sat. I don't know whether to love it or grieve. Maybe both. I still sit as Tammy turns 17, Bethany plays endlessly on the piano and Isaac makes breakfast for Tammy this morning. I want to do something, but if I do, I may miss all this. So I'll sit, and cry, and sit some more.

And though I am so very busy, I will be sure to sit much. It is everything.

Steering

At the wheel? I've been hunting for that wheel for months now. Someone else is steering this baby and I am losing stuff, watching the clutter and the pounds piling up, forgetting to call people, crying during both receptions I missed...
I have taken control of one aspect of my life for the past two weeks--WHAT I EAT. Dad made a small goal a couple of months ago to not eat after 6:00pm (or after dinner) which he has now abandoned for better choices. Within about five days, he started to ask me how many points for this or that. I handed him a journal and he is now an amazing 10+ pounds down!! Now, mind you everyone, because he is taller and a male, he gets to eat nine more points a day. Well I showed him how I felt about that--I didn't control my eating. Eventually, with gentle encouragement and a fantastic example in front of me, I am now in control. I have seen a little difference weight wise, but mostly just the confidence and energy. There is something magic about writing down what I eat. I can't explain it.
I can't control the tears when the car drives away with my children inside, heading off to home or college. I can't control the worry when my surfer dude does not call me two hours after leaving to tell me another dip found him safe again. I can't control the passing of time and rising of elevation in the children. I can't control the longing to spend lots of time with those sweet granddaughters. I can't control broken-down cars and busted ovens. And I can't control the headaches on Fast Sunday. But I CAN control what goes in my mouth, and I CAN write it down. This one change will be my blessing. I owe it to myself. I owe it to all of you. I owe it to this great country where I CAN control this!!!

No More POP!!!

AAAHHHHH! Ok, Sarah, OK!! I'll write something.

I, too, have plummeted down into the depths of un-health-nut-ness. I started drinking soda from time to time. The last time I ran...let's see...about three weeks ago. So I am trying to huff and puff and lumber toward the bandwagon and try to jump back on...1st step...no more soda pop, period!

Rach